What is emotional intelligence?
Emotional intelligence is the ability to express and manage feelings appropriately while respecting others' boundaries. This is a skill set that children of all ages, and even some adults, should learn.
Research shows that a developed emotional intelligence provides a child with many benefits that will be of great benefit throughout life. The lack or absence of emotional intelligence, on the contrary, will make it difficult to interact in society.
The main advantages of developed emotional intelligence
1. High IQ
Children who are emotionally intelligent perform better than others on tests and score better in school on average.
2. Communication skills
Strong emotional intelligence skills help children choose the right behavior during conflicts and it is relatively easy to resolve disputes and build deeper friendships.
3. Improving mental health
People with higher levels of emotional intelligence are less likely to suffer from depression and other mental illnesses.
4. Success in adulthood
Thanks to a large-scale study that was conducted over nineteen years and published in the American Journal of Public Health, scientists have found that emotional intelligence directly affects a child's future career. Children who at an early age learned to share, cooperate, and follow an adult's instructions have in most cases completed higher education and found a successful job by the age of 25.
The benefits of a developed emotional intelligence are obvious. A child who remains calm in a difficult situation is more likely to find a way out of it. Children who can express emotions in a “healthy” way will find it easier to communicate and collaborate with peers and adults.
But how do you develop your child's emotional intelligence skills? We share useful recommendations from experts.
Advice from experts
Name the child's emotions
It is important for children to recognize how they feel. When you see that a child is upset or angry, say it out loud.
For example, if he can't find his favorite toy, say, “It looks like you're upset because the bear is nowhere to be found. Is this true?”
Enrich your child's vocabulary of positive and negative feelings every day.
Be empathetic
When a child's emotions seem too dramatic, it's tempting to keep their feelings to a minimum (“Calm down, nothing special happened”). However, neglecting a child's emotional state will teach him to devalue what he is experiencing. In this case, children may conclude that their feelings are wrong and inappropriate.
Be empathetic and understanding. Say that you have also been in a similar situation and you know what it's like for a child now. This will help the baby calm down and reduce the “intensity of passions”: the child will feel that he has been understood, and there will be no need for an overly vivid expression of feelings.
Together as a child, come up with “healthy” ways to express feelings
Explain to your child that there are acceptable and unacceptable ways to express emotions.
You can show feelings with words (“It hurt me”, “I hate”, “I'm offended”, “I'm angry”) or drawings (a sad, angry, hurt emoticon). Also talk about inappropriate behavior: falling to the floor, yelling, or throwing things.
Set an example
Talk more often about how you feel in a particular situation, and also be interested in the child's emotions.
Teach your child how to deal with negative emotions in a healthy way
Once children learn ways to express emotions, show them how to work with negative feelings. Explain that all emotions matter and don't need to be hidden.
If the baby confesses that he is angry, practice deep breathing, explaining that this exercise will help him calm down. If the child is scared, talk about the situation and help him understand what exactly scares him. Explain that fear is normal and you shouldn't be afraid to talk about it.
If the child is sad, think together about what could make him a little happier right now.
These practices will teach children that there are no hopeless situations.
Develop problem-solving skills
After you've named the child's negative feeling and worked with it, move on to the source of the emotion. What caused the fear, anger, or sadness? What can be done to fix this? Come up with several ways to solve the problem together. After that, ask your child to evaluate each of the options offered. What are their pros and cons? Then ask your child to choose the best solution to the problem.
Try not to solve issues for your child, even if you see that he is making a mistake — give the children the opportunity to make their own choices.
Teach your child emotional intelligence skills on an ongoing basis
As they grow older, children's range of feelings and emotions will change: they will face new challenges, obstacles, and challenges that they will have to overcome.
Watch movies more often, read books, and discuss characters' behavior. Talk to older kids about real-life situations. Teach your child not to be afraid of mistakes, but to learn from them.
Let your child know that you accept his feelings
Always support children as they grow up — with your help, it will be easier for your child to learn the emotional intelligence skills necessary for life.
If you want your child's range of emotions to expand even more, sign up for a free one trial lesson to the Progkids online programming school. Here he will get a chance to create his own unique project and experience a whole range of positive emotions: pride, joy and delight! Well, if a child faces difficulties on the way to victory, our experienced teachers will help him find the best solution to any problem and get out of the difficult situation victorious!
