Parenting is a complex and responsible process in which parents play a key role. One of the important tasks is to help the child develop self-confidence and ability to cope with life's difficulties. However, sometimes parents, without realizing it, can contribute to the child's so-called “victim” condition. It is characterized by a feeling of helplessness and dependence on external circumstances. In this article, we'll look at how to avoid this and what parenting strategies can help children become confident and independent adults.
And if your child wants to learn something new, we look forward to seeing them at Progkids!
What is the “victim” condition
This is when a person feels helpless, and external circumstances, opinions, or actions of others prevent them from taking control of their own lives. This condition can occur in various forms and significantly affect a person's behavior and emotional well-being.
The characteristics of the “victim”
#1 Feeling helpless
People in a “victim” state often believe that they do not have the strength or ability to change the situation, and they are dependent on external factors.
#2 Blaming others
A tendency to shift the blame for problems to other people or circumstances, avoiding taking responsibility for your actions.
#3 Negative thinking
The state of “victim” is accompanied by a pessimistic view of the world and the expectation of a worse outcome.
#4 Passivity
Due to the fact that a person is convinced that he is helpless, he avoids active actions, preferring to remain in the role of a “victim”.
#5 Seeking empathy
Such people may seek attention and sympathy from others, complaining about their “failures”.
How to get out of the “victim” state
To come out of the “victim” means to increase confidence and improve the quality of life by allowing yourself to be an active participant in your destiny. In addition, a decision to be happier can have a positive impact on your children's future. Here are some consistent recommendations to help you get out of the “victim” state:
1) It seems we're in trouble...
Accepting that you are a “victim” is the first step to overcoming it.
2) I take responsibility for my life
Next, you need to come to understand that everyone is able to influence their lives and make decisions that will change the situation for the better.
3) What a wonderful day!
It is very important to work on changing negative thoughts to more constructive and optimistic ones. You can do this with the help of a psychologist or yourself (for example, by keeping a gratitude journal or using affirmations).
4) Take action right now!
You should have the courage to start taking steps to improve the situation, even if they seem small.
5) I'm not alone
It is important to ask for help from friends, family, or a psychologist to get an unbiased view of the situation.
Restructuring your mind and getting out of helplessness is not an easy process, but it's worth it!
How to help your child get out of the “victim” state
#1 Encourage him to be independent
Let your child make decisions based on their age and level of responsibility. This could be choosing what clothes he'll wear or the way he does his homework. The ability to make decisions on their own helps children feel important and make informed choices.
#2 Set clear boundaries for him
Children need rules to feel safe and confident. Explain to them what you expect them to do and what happens if borders are broken. This will help children understand the importance of discipline and responsibility for their actions.
#3 Teach him how to solve problems
Instead of intervening right away and solving problems for the child, help him find his own answers. Ask questions that will encourage him to think critically: “What do you think can be done about this situation?” or “What options do you have?” This will give the child confidence and help them believe in themselves.
#4 Maintain his emotional stability
Teach your child how to express their emotions in a healthy way. Discuss your feelings with him and explain that it is normal to experience different emotions. Help him find ways to deal with negative feelings through breathing exercises or creativity.
#5 Praise him for his efforts, not results
Encourage your child's efforts, even if the result is not ideal. This will help him understand that the learning process is important in itself, and mistakes are part of the path to success.
#6 Be an example for him
Children learn by looking at adults. Show with your behavior how you deal with difficulties and take responsibility for your actions. Your reactions to stressful situations will be an important lesson for him.
#7 Listen to him actively
Be interested in what your child is saying. Listening actively shows him that his opinion is important to you.
This will build trust between you two.
#8 Help him find himself
It happens that a person is born “predisposed” to the state of a “victim”. This usually applies to melancholic people who are prone to deep feelings and sadness. However, this is not a verdict. Together with your child, choose a creative hobby that will help him “live out” his feelings: drawing, music, and even creating games will do!
#9 Leave hyperprotection aside
If you constantly monitor the child and “save” him from any difficult situation, he will not learn how to do it himself.
#10 Keep him calm
Try to create a peaceful and cozy atmosphere in your home. A child should not witness quarrels and scandals. If you have problems, solve them without the involvement of younger family members.
By following these tips, you will teach your child how to cope with life's difficulties, avoiding the role of “victim”.
And if he is also into computer technology, sign it up at free trial lesson at Progkids! Creating your own projects will increase your child's self-esteem and help develop the skills needed for a successful career!
