Every parent wants their child to grow up successful, confident, brave and striving for new discoveries. And, of course, the most important thing is that we want our children to be happy now and in the future.
As the author of the book “I told whom!” correctly notes Irina Yegorycheva, “a beloved and loving adult is just that ex-child who lived in love and loved”.
Yes, we certainly wish our children the best. However, we don't always know how to achieve this: not every adult can boast of a happy and peaceful childhood. This is why we often unconsciously treat our children the same way we did to us. What should I do in this situation? This article will tell you how to help and support a child in his life and what to avoid when dealing with children.
Protect and nurture the child's self-confidence
A child needs a sense of security to develop. If he knows that he is loved and accepted, he can relax and direct all his energy to understanding the world around him and broaden his horizons. Support your child in his endeavors, let him make mistakes, notice his strengths, accept his shortcomings, say more often that he will succeed and don't demand the impossible from him. Let your child feel that you are always by his side - this is the key to his happiness and success.
The importance of words
The words we say to each other are a way to communicate our feelings. Words are more powerful than we sometimes think they are. Working on conscious speech in communication with a child can be very difficult, because forbidden phrases are something we heard so many times as children. However, this work is worth it - the happiness, success and well-being of the child in the long term depend on it.
When communicating with children, it is very important to choose the right intonations and phrases that will tell him that you love, accept and support him. This seems to be a simple but key condition on which the child's worldview depends.
What should be removed from the speech?
Criticism
“You write like a chicken with your paw!”
“Go away, I'll do it myself! You'll still have to redo it after you!”
“You're of no use!”
“What a daub!”
Comparisons
“Your brother never talks like that”
“Your sister did her best”
Making fun of the child's interests, friends and actions
“Your friends are only geeks!”
“Are you playing dice, Lyalechka?”
Rhetorical questions
“Who did I tell?” “Who does this?”
Separation threats
“If you whine, I'll leave!”
Orders
“Come on fast!”
“Stop whining!”
Threats
“Blame yourself!”
Trading in feelings
“If you act like this, no one will love you”
Denying and ignoring feelings
“Nothing hurts you”
“Nothing bad happened”
Bribery
“If you're good, I'll buy you...”
Negative forecasts, “deprivation” of the future
“If you don't do well in school, you'll become a janitor”
Attributing negative intentions
“You're kidding me”
Unjustified generalizations
“You're like always!” “At least once...”
Public opinion orientation
“What will people say!”
“People are looking at you!”
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With Progkids, your child's achievements will not go unnoticed - we have a space where you can share your finished work and discuss any topics related to IT technologies.
Let the whole family be proud of your child's achievements, but don't forget that you should praise children not only for their victories, but also for their efforts! =)
