Anxiety is the body's natural response to stress and, of course, like all feelings, is beneficial. For example, when we cross the road, the brain sends us an alarm signal reminding us of the danger and thus using 100% of our attention.
However, anxiety can become excessive and interfere with normal daily activities. For example, in a permanent state of concern, a child runs the risk of not finding friends — it will be difficult for him to interact with peers and make friendships. In addition, constant anxiety has a negative impact on sleep, eating habits, and physical health.
How can I help my child cope with anxiety?
Every child is different, and each child's anxiety management strategy can be different. You should try different options and focus on a set of tools that help your children in the best possible way.
Deep breathing
When a child is anxious, we naturally invite him to take a deep breath in and out to calm down.
But this is not enough to deal with constant anxiety. In this case, deep breathing should be practiced on a regular basis, even when the child is calm and relaxed.
To make it interesting for children to practice breathing, encourage them to visualize various things. For example, you can imagine that deep breathing helps a child inflate a balloon. Ask him to close his eyes and imagine what color and shape the balloon is. Explain that you need to breathe calmly and steadily so that the balloon does not fly away. Breathing in, holding your breath and exhaling should be performed successively for four counts and repeated three times. Then ask the child to mentally write on the balloon what he is worried about and let him go to the sky.
Another option for deep breathing with visualization that high school children will like is rainbow breathing.
Ask your teenager to lie on the mat and take a comfortable position. Play relaxing background music.
Ask your child to breathe in, hold his breath, and breathe out for every four counts. The first time he comes, he needs to imagine breathing in red and imagining as many nice things or objects of that color as possible: watermelon, strawberries, a balloon, roses, a favorite sweater, etc.
Repeat sequentially with all the other colors of the rainbow. Finally, discuss with your child how he breathed, ask him how colors influenced his feelings, and what color helped him feel calm and relaxed. Perhaps you should add items of this color to the decor of the room or supplement its wardrobe with items of this color.
Talking to yourself
Having an internal dialogue and saying anxiety out loud is a great way to deal with anxiety and feel stronger. The child may find this strange at first, but in the end, the technique will help him gain control over his anxious thoughts, and talking to himself will become an exciting game.
A conversation with yourself involves the following sequence of actions:
- Express a troubling thought
- Talk out loud why this thought keeps coming back
- Come up with a reasonable counter-statement that will help show that there is nothing to worry about.
For example, if a child is afraid of dogs, his reasoning might look like this:
I'm afraid of dogs, they're scary and they can bite me.
Once I saw my neighbor get bitten by a dog and now I'm always afraid it's going to happen to me.
But there are friendly dogs that don't bite anyone.
I don't have to worry about anything! I'm going to be all right! Not all dogs bite. For example, Petya has a very kind dog, he wouldn't even hurt a fly.
Physical activity
It has long been proven that exercise can reduce anxiety levels. It is useful for children to do team sports, run, swim, walk in the park, etc.
Write and tear or burn
It is important to teach the child not to keep feelings to themselves and not to be afraid to express concerns and fears. In addition, parents are not always close to their children, so you should teach them effective methods of dealing with anxiety on their own, which are useful at camp, school or when spending the night with a friend, for example.
A great way to safely express your negative emotions is to write them down on paper, then tear them apart and throw them away or, if possible, burn them. Of course, anxiety may come back, but this symbolic way helps the child feel more in control over their emotions.
Hugs and support
Human touch has great power: it releases oxytocin, the feel-good hormone, and reduces stress levels. Long hugs are the best way to help the child feel calm and safe.
When hugging children, tell them that it is normal to feel anxious. They need to hear this as often as possible. Hold your baby in your arms and talk to him gently until he feels better.
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