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Many parents know firsthand how powerful a child's character can be. In this article, we'll talk about stubbornness and how to live with it.
Stubbornness is a natural child trait. Many children actively resist, even if they need to do the simplest daily activities: brush their teeth, go to bed or eat on time. Parents often have to make incredible efforts and spend a lot of energy to persuade the child. How can we explain to children that perseverance can be useful to them in other areas, and how to make communicating with a stubborn child easier and more enjoyable?
What are they like, these stubborn people?
Stubborn children usually don't listen to what others say: it's important for them to do things their own way. Moreover, they want recognition from those around them, so they strive to attract attention at all costs. They have a strong need to be heard.
It's also important for stubborn kids to do things at their own pace—they hate being pushed. They can sometimes be extremely independent. Stubborn people know exactly what they like and tend to do just that.
Stubbornness presupposes an unwavering determination to act in a certain way despite external pressure. This is a refusal to change your behavior to please others.
Stubbornness in children can be congenital or acquired under the influence of the environment.
Dealing with stubborn children requires patience and effort, as parents need to carefully observe and accept their child's behavior pattern.
Here are some tips from experts that can help.
Tips for improving the situation
Listen to the child's opinion
Communication is a process that involves two parties. If you want your child to hear and listen to you, you also need to be patient and listen to him.
Of course, stubborn children have their own opinions and tend to argue with you, especially if they feel that you are not ready to take his point of view. Adults can also lose their temper, especially if they have to constantly change the mind of a stubborn little man.
In such a situation, first try to cool down. Do not put pressure on the child, but calmly find out the reason for his stubbornness. Perhaps he just doesn't say that he has a stomachache, for example, and that's why he doesn't want to eat.
Make a connection
When you try to force a child to do something from a position of strength, it causes the opposite effect: the stubborn person begins to unconsciously counteract you.
If kids don't want to walk away from the TV, don't press or yell at them. Sit down side by side and watch the show with them for a while. Show them that you're interested in what they're into. After that, try to negotiate gently by offering to watch the cartoon the next day. Feeling interested and cared for, children are more likely to agree to your terms.
Let us choose
Don't be too categorical with stubborn people, learn flexibility and cunning. If the child refuses to go to bed, ask him to choose the book you read to him before going to bed: this will create the illusion of choice in his mind.
Stay calm as much as possible
Do your best not to fall out on a stubborn person: meditate, exercise, breathe and listen to your favorite music. Include as many activities as you can in your life that put you in a good mood.
Be respectful
Show that you respect the child's opinion and are willing to cooperate. Never devalue his feelings and ideas.
Don't do something for your child — this way you'll show him that you believe in him. Be an example for your children, because they are constantly watching your behavior, gestures, and voice intonation.
Ask your kids how they're feeling. If you see that the child is not doing well, ask about it with empathy. If the child is stubborn, show that you are ready to negotiate and compromise. By the way, you don't have to give in to a stubborn man in everything. Just show that you're attentive to his needs, and then try to reach a mutual agreement.
Take his place
In a conflict situation, try to look at what is happening from the child's point of view and practice empathy. Think about why he behaves this way, what emotions he feels, how he feels in this world. The better you understand your children, the easier it will be for you to deal with their stubbornness. Always show that you accept any of his emotions, but stick to your chosen position.
Come up with a way to make life easier for a stubborn person without departing from your rules. For example, if a child doesn't want to do homework, divide it into parts so that it doesn't seem so big and complicated.
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