Borders are restrictions and individual attitudes that protect against resentment, manipulation and disrespect. Borders help maintain a sense of self-respect, security, and autonomy in relationships. Setting limits creates certain expectations about behavior and interaction with others, which helps you maintain healthy communication patterns.
Why is the ability to build boundaries so important for teenagers?
Adolescence is a time to find your own identity and gain independence. Teens are actively learning to determine what behavior is acceptable to them and what is not. They're trying to figure out how to build healthy relationships and protect their mental and emotional well-being. Parents should help children through this process by accepting their views and providing maximum support. The reasons that prevent a teenager from setting “healthy” boundaries include fear of rejection, the desire to please parents, and many others.
Types of boundaries a teenager should pay attention to
Physical boundaries
This type implies a personal physical space in which it is convenient for a person to stay, and how close it is comfortable for him to “let” other people in. For example, a teenager can cuddle someone when they meet, shake hands with someone, and just say hello to someone.
Emotional boundaries
This type involves separating a person's emotions from other people's feelings. By setting emotional boundaries, teenagers learn to understand and manage their own feelings, recognize others' feelings, etc.
Social boundaries
This type teaches the child to understand what behavior is acceptable in society and how to interact with others.
Time limits
This type involves the right allocation of time, the ability to set priorities and find a balance between studies, hobbies, friends and leisure.
How do you know if a child has trouble building boundaries?
Borders are a way to protect yourself from unwanted intrusion into your own space. The inability to build boundaries can have a negative impact on a teenager's well-being, study and self-esteem.
here main features, which you should pay attention to in order to understand whether the child has difficulty setting boundaries:
They're afraid to say no
If a teenager does not want to lose a new friend, disappoint others, or appear selfish, it will be difficult for him to say no, and he will neglect his own needs. This can cause burnout and resentment.
They allow disrespectful behavior towards themselves
If a teenager tolerates someone speaking disrespectfully about him, it means that he has no clear expectations for others and, most likely, has low self-esteem.
They have trouble expressing themselves
It is difficult for them to express their opinion and make a decision. When they make a choice, they constantly make excuses for it.
They need to share with someone all the time
If a teenager talks too much about himself, asking parents, friends, or strangers about what to do, this may mean that it is difficult for him to navigate social situations.
They feel hurt
If a teenager allows friends and family members to break their boundaries, deep down, they will constantly feel hurt and disappointed.
How can you help your child build boundaries? Here are a few simple guidelines:
- Teach your teen to recognize and respond to feelings. Sometimes one emotion replaces another that is suppressed. Don't stop your child from talking openly about how he feels.
- Teach your child phrases that will help him set boundaries when communicating with peers. For example, these include: “I'm not happy with this”, “I need time to think”, “You can't do this to me”, and others.
- Explain that friendships can be different. Many people mistakenly believe that a friend should always be there for you. Explain that the child does not have to sacrifice his own interests in order to maintain a friendship.
- Help your teen set online boundaries by deciding together how much time they'll spend on social media.
Do you want your child to expand his social circle and deepen his own knowledge? Open the world of IT technologies to him! Sign up for free trial lesson to Progkids right now!
