Not giving up and not resting on your laurels is an important skill that will be useful to a child both at school, at work and in the future. Perseverance is not always innate, and parents can help their child develop this trait in their character.
What is perseverance?
Perseverance should not be confused with excessive self-confidence or audacity. Perseverance is the ability to speak politely and diplomatically but clearly about your needs and desires. And to do this, you must first of all have a sufficiently developed emotional intelligence.
What can we do to develop perseverance in children?
Don't devalue their feelings
When we ignore or belittle childhood experiences, it makes it difficult to persevere in adulthood. If parents do not pay attention to the child's emotions, the child will not consider them particularly valuable and significant either.
Develop their emotional intelligence
To do this, ask your child more often about their feelings at one point in time or another. If the child learns to be aware of the emotions he is experiencing, this will help him understand in which situations it is vital for him to persevere in order to defend his position.
“Learn” emotional language together
Your child may already be able to distinguish basic emotions such as anger, joy, fear, etc. If so, it is time to deepen his knowledge. You can work together to expand the vocabulary of “emotional” words to better understand the shades of emotions. In the future, this will help the child understand and clearly convey to others the essence of their feelings.
Teach your child to recognize their worth
Every time a child defends his position, understanding the importance of emotions, he shows others that his opinion matters.
The other side of the coin
But perseverance also has a flip side. This is manipulation and coercion, which are forms of verbal abuse. To avoid this in communication, you should learn for yourself and teach your child environmentally friendly non-violent communication (NGO).
The term NGO first appears in the book “The Language of Life” by American psychologist Marshall Rosenberg. In the author's fair opinion, an NGO helps to convey to the interlocutor what is important to us and get what we need without any pressure. NGOs help develop empathy, engage in fewer conflicts, and manage to end quarrels before they destroy something important.
How to teach a child an NGO?
Show an example
As you know, if you want to change the world, start yourself. When you practice NGOs with your child, you automatically inculcate eco-friendly communication skills in your child.
Say “me” instead of “you”
An NGO means no accusations in speech. If you are angry that the child did not wash the dishes, you should not shout: “What a lazy dirty dirt you are!” This will offend the child and he will immediately take a defensive position. Instead, just tell him how you feel: “I'm very tired after work and it would be nice if the dishes were clean.”
Don't rate
A non-judgmental position is one of the main concepts of NGOs. Any assessment is too subjective: it is the result of our thinking, established patterns, cognitive distortions, experiences and projections that are not always positive. When we want to communicate in an environmentally friendly way, we should first try to understand the reasons and motives behind another person's behavior. If you accept the other's position, it will be easier to come to a common denominator in communication.
Don't use imperative
Agree, the phrases “clean the room”, “do your homework” and “wash the dishes” sound like general orders! And who, besides soldiers, would want to do them? Most likely, after hearing this, the child will feel resistance.
Use more pleasant and “hugging” phrases without changing their meaning: “Can you clean the room?” , “Why don't you do your homework?” , “Please be so kind to wash the dishes.”
Do you want your child to learn something new? Write it down to free class at Progkids! We are expanding children's horizons and helping young stars shine!
