Why do we need a reward system?
The reward system allows you to develop discipline and change the child's behavioral patterns, replacing bad habits with useful ones.
With the help of the reward system, the child learns to make the right choice in different situations －－ do homework, clean toys, go to bed on time, etc. Receiving a positive response from parents, children naturally get used to a “healthy” routine, become more organized and spend time as efficiently and productively as possible.
Why does this work?
When we are praised, dopamine is produced －－ this motivates us to continue our work and strive to achieve new results. Hearing praise, the child feels that his efforts have been appreciated, and therefore, his self-confidence is growing. In addition, the reward system allows you to develop a more trusting relationship between parents and children, as it makes your reactions to their actions more predictable and safe.
The easiest ways to praise a child
- Use non-verbal methods: give “five”, show “class”, hug, pat on the head.
- Offer to do something together that the child loves, for example, go to an amusement park or aqua center.
- In front of a child, tell another adult how proud you are of some of his accomplishments.
- Post the child's work on social media and show him the likes he has collected.
- Sincerely say phrases like “I'm proud of you”, “You're getting better every time!” , “You're on the right track”, “I'm amazed.”
- To evoke pleasant emotions, a smile or a child's laughter －－ gently tickle, touch your nose, make a funny “massage”.
Reward systems for children of different ages
- Sticker chart or notebook with stickers (preschoolers).
- Earning tokens that can be redeemed for more －－ going for ice cream, visiting an interesting place, a collectible toy, etc. (younger students)
It is important: Set in advance how many tokens each reward costs. The more expensive the reward, the more tokens the child will have to “earn”. Be realistic and calculate your financial capabilities. If you can't afford something expensive, don't put it on the rewards list. Free and low-cost incentives can be just as exciting.
Consider which items will act as tokens. These can be small colored pebbles or balls, emoticons or paper stars. Make sure your child doesn't have access to the tokens and can't make or repeat them on their own - in this case they will lose all value in their eyes.
- Earning points (students, teenagers)
The essence of the system is the same as in the previous one, but the child does not receive tokens, but points. In this variation, you can agree in advance with the child that he loses a certain number of points for disobedience.
What rules are important to follow if you are introducing a reward system
- Be responsible: the child will quickly get used to the rules of the “game”, so do not break them.
- Be fair: the reward system is designed to improve your child's behavior and trust in you. If you do not appreciate his efforts, it can lead to resentment and the opposite effect.
- Reward not only results but also effort. We can't always do things right away. Reward your child for his first inept steps in something new to him. This approach will help the child learn to focus not on the result, but on the process and relieve the fear of difficulties.
- Be consistent: if you said that you would take your child to his favorite park for 15 tokens, cancel all personal files to keep your promise.
